It was all worth it

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Around the same time last year, my OB told me not to get my hopes up when a test showed I am pregnant. The survival of the growing life inside me has a 50-50 chance due to my crazy anti-bodies and a condition called  Antiphospholipid syndrome (APS), an autoimmune disorder that is associated with pregnancy complications, including preeclampsia, thrombosis, autoimmune thrombocytopenia, fetal growth restriction and fetal loss.

Simply put, my body is producing anti-phospholipid antibodies or APAS. These anti-bodies clot my blood during pregnancy, which make it difficult for the baby to grow. This explains the intermittent spotting which might have led to miscarriage if was not promptly treated.

In four days, my little one will turn 4 months old. A strong and a healthy baby. I can’t help not to be emotional by just looking at him and remembering the things that we had go through from conception up to the c-section operation, my daily anti-coagulant injections, the regular blood tests and every two weeks visit at the clinic and ultrasound.

Normally, when a woman gets pregnant, she just get pregnancy test at the clinic, listen to the heartbeat and go back a few weeks before her due date. Just that and then waddle her way through pregnancy.

Mine was totally different without neglecting the fact that I journeyed through pregnancy solo, by choice. I didn’t have the benefit of someone massaging my back at night nor someone getting me stuff that I craved for. Cravings can be tempered, I tell you. Since my Mom came in a few months before my due date, I only have the nurses and my OB to hug me and share the weekly miracle of seeing my little one growing and kicking towards the middle of my pregnancy. They have journeyed with me and have seen how my baby progressed from just a blip, to a blip with a heartbeat, a blip with a moving finger, a blip with a face, up until that blip took his human form, my Baby Noah.

Today, my baby Noah just started to learn how to roll over. There’s a lot of cooing, gurgling and shrieking around the house. I couldn’t imagine how he made it through my thick blood and kick out all of my crazy anti-bodies.

When he lovingly looks at me in the eye as if there’s no one else in this world, its heaven. I didn’t realize I could be this happy. Looking back, no matter what we have gone through, it was all worth it.  🙂

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One thought on “It was all worth it

  1. Pingback: Complications In Pregnancy | Find Me A Cure

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